(Warning: Adult Content, Adult Language - Do not try this at home.)
Six squares, three people. Plain white blotter. Claimed to be "double dipped, fresh from Berkeley". It seemed that all doses were fresh from Berkeley. We dropped and tail-gated before the show.
Zooming. Persian carpet here? Snowflake there.
Got to get a drink. I buy a beer from the nearest beer-guy.
God trails trails trails. Wave hand stays there dissolves.
I go back to the car. Sam and James grooving. Cheshire Samuel.
I say, "Sam, I'm going to convert to Hindu."
Sam shoots back, "Why Matt?"
I say, "Because Ganesh just sold me a beer." Har-de-har-har.
James is not looking like he's having a good time. "James whassup man? Isn't it beautiful dude?"
James looking dire, "I think I'm going to die tonight."
"Fucccck man. no no no... it's cool man... remember you are going to be back to normal eventually..." I said.
So we sit at the car feel a few drops of rain. I am bouncing a tennis ball, feeling it... very into it. Be the ball Danny...
A stranger is walking towards us. He is headed our way...
"Hey," I say, "Any of you know this guy?"
Awwww this is fucked up. He isn't dressed right. Some kind of uniform like a cop. Yup, gotta be a cop. He comes up to us, in the corner of my eye, I see Sam stashing a pipe behind a tire, and I'm sure the fucking cop saw it. Shit, I have doses and weed. Sam has opium, but I think it's fake opium. James has acid and weed. Fuck. Acid...cold concrete and bars flash in my head. The "cop" closes in and hits us.
He flashes a badge real quick and says, "I'm with the party patrol, and it looks like you guys are having too much fun."
Me and Sam glance at each other saying nothing. I start to shake a bit. When I try to talk to him my neck locks and my head is vibrating.
James screams, "I TOLD YOU!"
Sam says, "Uh....Uh.... we are just chilling before the show."
I say, "Did we do something?" head still on vibrate.
The guy reaches into his jacket, James babbles incoherently.
The "cop" says, "Calm down man, I just came to give you all one of these...". He pulls out 3 copies of the Bagivad Gita.
I say, "You're not a cop?"
He says, "No, I'm here to give good news."
I say red faced and trembling, "You fucking asshole. Change your fucking rap. You come on like the fucking law. We don't want your book!"
Sam, just as angry, "Man that is not cool at all."
I grab the books and hand them back, "Go away... don't scare anyone else, you're gonna get your ass kicked. Not all of us are peace loving hippies."
"Dude is visibly pissed, or at least that what my eyes are telling me. He splits. We wax poetic on the asshole "cop".
James takes a turn for the worse. He is fucking with Sam and I's trips. I DO NOT need a bad trip.
James takes off his glasses and starts rubbing his temples, "bad, bad..." James whimpers.
Looks like rain.
The gates are opening... time to go in and see...
"James," I say, "Once the music starts you'll be alright."
We get in the line...
You can feel the electricity. We are going to see the boys. Everyone is HIGH HIGH HIGH. The line breathes and undulates.
Big grin I hand my ticket to the man.
He says, "Thanks, have a good show."
Sam pushes James through the gate. Hampton is shaped kind of like a wheel. The acoustics are great and bouncy... energy fucking everywhere... Maybe I'll stay in the hall and dance.
No way... we got good seats, close enough to see Weir spit. We sit. Looking at James... he's in a bad way...thinking death, the guy vibes disturbed. We sit, Sam to my right, James to my left. Two seats away from Sam is a good looking hippie girl.
Yup, she hit the genetic pick six. I think she is with if not a boyfriend, a very close friend. They pack a bowl, on the sly looking for the Hampton guards. Nothing, it's a circus. The whole place smells like a skunk fucked a hash plant, kinda like Northern California. Pretty girl bends over to Sam, perhaps aware that her perfect tits are on display. It's almost too much to take.
Bowl in hand handed off to Sam, she says "Pass it to your friends."
Sam takes a huge hit and passes it to me coughing, smoke coming out of his nose. I hit it... God good stuff. Colors getting louder, I can taste the bass. Hand off to James. James unawares.
"What is this?" He manages to stutter... Takes a hit. Holds it in for an eternity. He asks me where it came from.
I do the thumb point, "Over there, the hippy chick."
James looks over as does she, and flashes a smile as their eyes lock.
James has a crazed look in his eye.
Fuck, we just dropped this stuff a coupla hours ago. We won't even peak till the shows over. The acid is strong. Fully animated, technicolor zoom zoom cat.
James starts, "Hey, that chick told me it's OK. She knows I'm going to die, we have to make a kid"
Fuck, "James. you are on acid. She is nice. That's it. Please stop the death shit."
"I would if I could Matty, but it's true. I need her. It is OK."
"It's not OK, James. You're going to get us in a mess, cut it out."
"I would if I could Matty. She told me."
"James! She told you nothing."
Sam jumps in, "James man. Relax." Sam loads some 'opium' on top of weed, sacrilege if you ask me. Sam hands to James, "Here man, smoke some of this."
To Sam, smoking things is a panacea, will fix it all.
James takes the bowl and says, "This isn't funny. I have to have her."
How is this James thing going on? He better not fuck up the show. Dammit, I love Hampton. So head friendly. In a few years, Hampton would become historic to Dead Heads.
Lights dim. There they are walking on stage. I am screaming, "JEEEEEEERRRRRRY!!!!" Despite the pandemonium, James remains seated, rubbing his temples. The Dead start tuning. Bobby plinks...drummers>Bam<BAM>BOOM
I shout to Sam, "YEAHHHHHH BABY", the crowd so amped my scream dissolves into a subtle shade of cyan and floats up, up, up. Phil drops a mini bomb...It tickles me deep in my gut. Brent playing something familiar... can make it out. 3...2...1...
BOOM> yeah. Stranger!!! Music churning crowd. I feel like lightning gonna strike. I would dig that so deeply. Dancing like a bear, me. Sam doing the fist thing. James on his feet, but is soooooo lost. He is starting to look sick.
James, "Matty, I think I'm going to puke."
ARRRRRRRRRRR, "Sam I gotta take James to the bathroom."
Sam shoots me the "are you out of your mind" look...
For some stupid reason, I try to exit stage right, forgetting that James is going to walk by and perhaps make contact with the chick. That indeed is the case as James gives her a hug, way too long, and I think I see him whispering into her ear. Her face scrunches up and she puts a hand to her ear. Thank God she can't hear him. I grab a handful of his t-shirt and pull.
He is yammering something. I manage to get him out. We make it to the mostly empty hallway. A few kids are doing the spins, like a Dervish on acid. I start heading to the head.
James shoots, "Hey Matty, where we going?"
"Dude you said you were going to puke, I am taking you to the bathroom." My frustration is cubing itself. "Goddamit James."
James says, "Oh. Should I?"
My head is going to pop. I am missing the show cause I have to babysit.
"James! Do you have to puke or what?"
"No man. I never said that."
I'm ready at this point to break into that old vaudeville bit "Niagara Falls".
"James, how are you feeling?"
"You're OK? Well come on dude. Let's go back..."
We fall back into the arena. It feels so warm on the skin, the music. We get back to our place.
I remember to come back in on the left, so James won't bother the girl. We make it back in one piece. Sam shoots me a big smile as he grooves to the music. I nod grooving myself.
James bumps me. "Matty, can we trade seats with Sam? I need to talk to her."
"Goddammit James. Chill the fuck..." He starts screaming to her something...
I push him back. Thank God she is oblivious to the fact that a grown man is convinced that his destiny rests between her legs. I have to push him back a number of times. I can't deal with it. I change seats with Sam. It is his turn to push James, which he does and the aggravation is palpable. We make it through the first set.
Hippy girl bolts. We try to talk James down. It doesn't work. He hits us with his plan, which is about making babies, death, and the hippy chick. He talks about this ad nauseum. We both tell James to chill the fuck. At this point, he is messing with our trips. Sam and I talk about leaving.
No. We both hope James comes to. Acid is really kicking ass. Tripping balls. Yeah baby, we gots to stay.
SCARLET!!! please boys go into FOTM!! Deep, my God they're so on. Dance Dance Dance.
Sam tells me it's my turn to do a James watch. "By the way..." Sam starts, This acid isssssssssssss goooooooooood." Yeah man, I know.
James is getting fairly aggressive. Once when I pushed him back, He said, "Sam, don't push me."
"James, I hate to break the news to you, but it's me Matt."
He does a double take, says nothing.
We make it through a great deal of the second set. At one point during space, it got really quiet. Jerry was noodling trying to hit a groove. We are real close to the stage. We all sit waiting for the Dead to hit the groove...
Sam stands up and yells loudly "DEEPER!!!!!!!!!!"
I am pretty sure Sam's yell can be heard on an audience recording. Regardless Jerry looks up in our direction.
"Sam, he fucking heard you." I say amazed.
Jerry indeed goes "deeper"... So does James. The straw that broke the camel comes when the Dead start playing Black Peter.
Now, if you're a Dead Head you know why that tune could be bad for James. Black Peter is about a man dying, and reflecting. When Jerry sings the line, "I was laying in my bed and dying" James starts screaming at a completely inappropriate moment. People are staring. I look at Sam, and we come to a tacit decision to get out of there. It's either that, or watch James implode, and possibly end up in the poke on some charge involving the beautiful hippy girl.
I grab James by the bicep, and we exit stage right. James protesting all the way screaming about his plan.
My trip is taking a bad turn, as is Sam's. We exit the coliseum, and guess what? It's raining. I am really tripping hard. The rain is fucking with us. All of a sudden two cops on horseback ride toward us with a megaphone. Now this is an awesome sight. I imagine I am like Charlton Heston popping his head up in the cornfield and seeing an ape on horseback. It is not comforting to see them at all. So, they ride very close to us, but still decide to use the megaphone.
"IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A TICKET YOU MUST LEAVE THIS VENUE. IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE YOU ARE LOITERING!"
Oh this is bad turning freak show... Suddenly the cop rides up to us.
This guy with a helmet on a horsey strikes me as absurd, and I start laughing. The cop tries to give us what for. We show him our stubs. He tells us we have to leave.
Sam shoots, "Why do you think were in the parking lot assh..."
I grab Sam, and pull him away. The cop looks at us. I know he is thinking about fucking with us.
He rides away. Ah. Another narrow escape.
Three dudes tripping balls in the rain.
Things are breathing morphing sexual tones of butter mountains and trout. Know the feeling?
We find the car. Sam and I do the odds even things to decide who drives. I win, or lose. It depends on how you think my driving skills on two hits of acid are. I strap in and advise the boys to do the same.
Sam throws James in the back and yells, "CHILL THE FUCK MAN".
James starts crying.
We put some mellow Dead on the cassette player. The windshield wipers have this effect of smearing colors to the beat of the song. It is like someone taking their fingers and running them through a wet Van Gogh landscape. So I got that going for me.
We soon realize we are lost. No one knows which way to go. Our only option is to find a 7-11 and look at a map. We find one. To me, getting out of the car was like leaving a womb. Anything could happen.
Everything is looking so strange, and I am getting deja vu in sublime waves. The rock by the bottle told me that I had been there before. We decide James would be best off in the car. He hadn't said a word for a good half hour.
I tell him, "Stay, don't move. I am going to get you a drink."
James actually thanked me. His eyes were like two black marbles, like he rubbed Belladonna directly on the surface of his eye.
I wondered how I looked. I felt like paisley.
Sam and I get some drinks, Sam suggests getting milk and cookies for James. Sam thinks it will nurture James in his regressed state. We pay for the stuff, and head to the magazine/map stand. We stare at the pages, and decide we can't really read it. Still we try. We notice someone else opening the door.
Fuck, it's James.
I go over to him and tell him we paid for the drinks, lets split.
James saying nothing heads to the magazine rack.
Sam tells James to go back to the car.
James picks up a map and starts reading it.
I was about to tell James that we should just split, when two cops walk into the store. The first thing they notice is us. I saw one of them look our way and whisper something to his partner.
Sam tells me telepathically that now is the time to split. I tell him telepathically yes, I agree. Split. So Sam and I start out and we try to get James out of there.
He won't budge. He is mind melding with the map.
Sam and I can't take it. We leave James and beat it to the car.
The magazine/map stand was visible from the car, and James was still standing there looking at a map.
Sam and I are convinced the cops are going to fuck with us. We start freaking out.
Five minutes pass. James still at the map, cops still in store.
Ten minutes, same deal.
By this time Sam and I were basket cases. We had already ran through arrest scenarios, we were convinced we were doomed.
At the 14 minute mark, James still staring at map, cops walking towards him. Sam and I are distraught.
James is going to fuck us up. Those cops are going to take one look at his pie eyeballs, and give James the business.
We see the cops talking to James through the window. James is nodding, he looks like they are asking him questions.
Sam takes his ball of "opium" and throws it out the window. I pull out my bag of weed and four hits of acid. We each eat two more hits of acid. I have weed, maybe seven grams, and I tell Sam to help me eat the weed. So we are washing dry buds down with Dr. Pepper. Twigs and crushed buds cling to my teeth and tongue, Sam too looks as though he might gag.
The cops start pointing, James nodding.
Sam and I are a mess.
James has looked at that same page in the map book for almost 15 minutes, the cops must have noticed.
Sam and I are freaking out because the cops are leaving with James.
Sam and I brace ourselves, we are doomed.
James comes back to us, as the cops go back to their car. James waves to them, they wave back.
James comes back to the car and says, "I know where we are, let me drive."
Sam and I just look at each other. I hand the keys to James and realize we just ate two more hits.
About two hours into the drive, Sam and I are speechless...tripping so hard.
I ask James if everything is OK.
James says, "Hey Matty, you are on a drug. You will be okay sometime tomorrow. Try to relax."